Hey. You’re probably the most adorable person I’ve ever seen, boy or girl. Also, your taste is fucking awesome. And, sorry for being such a creeper - it wasn’t entirely on purpose, heh. Yeah I just needed tuh say that ~
Wah I need this I need that nothing is good enough for me I need to be perfect I’m not perfect I don’t have this or this and I need that but I’m just going to destroy it as soon as I get it because its not good enough nothing is ever good enough for me I need to be PERFECT and my hair needs to be PERFECT and my clothes need to be PERFECT but I don’t care if I don’t shower or do my hair right or wear socks or brush my teeth or clean my face or anything like that I don’t need to change my clothes regularly or even wash them because there’s only one shirt one jacket and one pair of pants that look good on me so I’ll just wear them every day because I only care about how I LOOK. And I like to cut myself and bruise myself so I can show off my scars it will impress people if I look tough they’ll think im cooler if I have battle wounds right people think thats cool right? Oh, what, he doesn’t like me back? It must be because I’m ugly, Thats the only explanation, its not because I’m dirty and its not because my clothes stink and its not because I’m a ditz, its because I’m UGLY the only reason people don’t like you is if you’re UGLY so I must be UGLY UGLY UGLY. things aren’t going my way now so ill just stomp around and threaten to kill myself because god my life is so terrible because I’m UGLY
I don’t know how to feel about this.
I wanted to kiss you, believe me I did. But I didn’t want to rush. I didn’t want to make myself feel anything that i don’t need to be feeling. We kissed anyway. I blame the weed.
I can’t forget what happened a year ago. I know you said you’re sorry, and I forgive you but I can’t forget it.
What this means is that I am feeling wary.
I don’t know what it is that you want from me, or what you want for yourself. What will you get from this? What is this?
What will happen at the end? Will it be a repeat of last time? Are you using me?
I know I had a deep, a gutteral feeling, warmth and butterflies, when you touched me tonight. Tickling me, holding my hand, rubbing my back when the movie got too scary for me to watch.
I always liked you the most.
But I just don’t know what to do.